How to Deal with Irrational Elderly Parents
As we age, we tend to become more mature and developed as human beings. Sometimes, however, we forget that our parents are also getting older as well. They may become more susceptible to bouts of irrationality and may seem like they are provoking you in some circumstances.
It’s important to deal with this in a logical and rational way. At the end of the day, they are still your parents and deserve your utmost respect. By conducting yourself in an approachable manner, you can discover ways to mitigate the chances of blowing up an emotional situation.
Here are eight ways on how to deal with your irrational elderly parents:
1. Understand your parents’ behaviour
Remember, aging is a difficult process to come to terms with. As our parents get older, so too does our understanding of why they are acting the way they are. Taking the appropriate measures to recognize the reasons for the irrationality will help your peace of mind in the long run.
Your parents won’t be here forever. As a result, it is important to come to terms with this fact and spend as much time as you can with them. Reduce the confrontational aspect of your relationship with them and ensure that you both get the happiest of interactions going forward.
2. Consider outside help
Depending on the severity of the situation, a third-party professional may be required to help strike a healthy balance between you and your parents. For example, does one of them have a severe health condition? Dementia and Alzheimer’s can significantly contribute to irrational outbursts and will exacerbate if not treated.
It may be wise to enlist the help of a caregiver or a retirement home facility, who can act as a facilitator between you and your parents. They may even help convince your parents that you are not the problem, which may heal the combustible nature of the relationship in the long run.
3. Spend one-on-one time with your parents
In our current society, we are surrounded by a plethora of distractions. When it comes to communicating with your elderly parents, you’ll want to ensure that you are not impeded by distractions. Always try to have an available place dedicated to spending one-on-one time with your parents. This allows them to focus all their positive energy into a real-time dialogue.
4. Treat your parents like adults
One of the saddest feelings to have in our lives is knowing that the mental state of our parents is regressing. You might feel as if you need to control them, not unlike them trying to control you when you were a child. It is vital that you avoid this at all costs.
They are adults, first and foremost. As such, they should always be treated in a respectable and dignified manner. Remember this when doing simple tasks for them, in addition to assisting them with more difficult tasks as well.
5. Accepting your elderly parents
While you may think that, with a little encouragement, you may be able to change your irrational elderly parents’ ways. However, there’s a strong chance you might not be able to change their thinking. As a result, the best thing you can do for yourself and your parents is to accept the situation.
This means not trying to control the way your parents behave. Forcing anyone to do what you want them to do doesn’t generally work out well. By putting the circumstances to rest first and foremost, you are already well on your way to dismantling the stressful nature of the situation.
6. Understand you are not to blame
It is important to come to terms with this point. Dealing with random outbursts of provocation, for example, can send your stress levels skyrocketing. You may even begin to think that you are the reason for your parents acting in this way.
Don’t beat yourself up; the situation is just out of your control. Instead, stay on the sidelines if possible. You’ll always be able to have access to your parents should you need it. However, it might be best for all parties to not have constant contact with one another, even if it feels extremely difficult.
7. Find an outlet for your stress
It is imperative to find an activity to decompress if your elderly parents are giving you troubles. Your mental and emotional well-being is just as important as their own. This can come in the form of various hobbies, or just by venting to a close friend.
Many individuals taking umbrage with their parents acting out irrationally find solace in physical exercise. The release of endorphins allows your mental health to reset back to a normative, optimized rate. Consider joining a fitness class or just going for a light run around the block.
8. Prepare ahead of meetings
If you want to make an effort to deal with your irrational elderly parents, reducing irrational outbursts can be done through reminders. If you know that an important date or milestone is approaching, throwing out the odd cue can help increase their happiness.
This is especially true if their mental health is noticeably worsening. Since they are consistently being reminded about positive events, the chances of them lashing out or getting upset becomes stalled. Always try to think ahead to important, encouraging dates and use them effectively in your communication.
